5 Ways to Move Beyond Woundedness
What is Emotional Healing and how have I experienced Emotional Healing ?
To one degree or another, we have all been wounded emotionally. Like the time that boyfriend broke my heart by cheating on me, or the fact that my mother abandoned me at 3 months old. There are many variations of emotional brokenness and pain. Although sometimes the cause is natural or because of another’s sin, most people fight some type of emotional battle.
Symptoms of emotional harm can range from sleeplessness, detachment, depression, anger, isolation, bitterness, frustration, and fear. Personally, I have experienced most of these. Many years of insomnia kept me addicted to marijuana. Angry outburst were common for me so much so that I have had my right hand broken twice from punching solid objects – I totally do not recommend that, I mention it only to demonstrate the degree of anger I had at that time.
The emotional harm that I experienced was due to abandonment, broken trust, rejection, a lack of community support. Because of the sexual abuse I suffered as a child and going into the foster care system I felt abandoned by my family. The people that were to protect me were the ones that were abusing me, how could I trust anyone now. Once in the foster care system it was difficult for me to feel like I belonged anywhere so the sense of community support was lacking. The many layers of emotional harm continued to mount up in my life. Abusive boyfriends, getting involved in the game, being raped, robbed, lied to, and so much more abuse kept me in an emotional spiral going down, down and down. I was at such a place in my life that my view was so tainted that my answer to life was I am going to use YOU before you use ME.
Until that defining moment in my life when all I could do was look up. I had been looking down for so long and wore my disgrace on my face every day. Angry and broken was normal, drugs and alcohol could not remedy my pain any longer. My dearest friend called me out with… “look, you are going to kill someone or kill yourself the way you are living your life.” Kalani then invited me to go to church with her. I could not go with her the first time, because I had a hang over, but the next Sunday I went. That one Sunday changed my life. There is where I discovered healthy choices; healthy practices and that thing we call emotional healing. It was not a quick easy path, not like I just accepted Jesus into my life and all of a sudden I was healed. I wanted to be normal, to be well and not be angry. Scripture tells us, Jesus said, “The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak” Matthew 26:41. For me following God is the first step to emotional healing. He is the One who restored my soul Psalm 23:3. We must remember that healing is a process. It involves moment-by-moment choices to trust and obey the Lord. We must chose healthy interactions with others 1 Peter 3:8–12, and healthy activities that benefit our bodies 2 Corinthians 7:1.
These are some of the things I did that helped me with my Emotional Healing Journey.
a) I read the word of God daily, kept a journal of my feelings and what the Bible said about me, and prayed for God to show me the truth about my feelings.
b) I asked God to forgive me for the sins I had done to others as well as sins I committed against myself.
c) Even now I pray that my thoughts would be on what is true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, and admirable. Philippians 4:8
d) I became accountable to sisters that were walking out the new life I wanted to be part of: the upright and pure life.
e) I go to church regularly, serve on the team of believers, and seek to have a teachable heart. My church has helped in my healing process. God gives spiritual gifts to His church “to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up” Ephesians 4:12
Jesus Christ can help us find emotional healing. His Spirit is a Spirit of kindness, selflessness, truth, and trustworthiness, and He finds joy in producing such qualities in us Galatians 5:22–23; 1 John 3:19–24
My hope is that you are able to gain understanding and obtain emotional healing for yourself.
Much Aloha to You! Tammy
Tammy (CSEC Survivor, Volunteer, Advocate, and Community Outreach Manager) is a wife to Jonny, mother to Chad and her furry baby Frankie Boy, sister to Jo and many brothers. She is a friend to many & is a leader at her home church Legacy Christian Church located on the Island of Oahu. She is a full charge bookkeeper for a prominent Honolulu law office. Tammy is a volunteer for Hoʻōla Nā Pua (A New Life for Our Children) a Hawaii-based, 501(c)3 non-profit organization whose mission is to provide renewal of trafficked girls who have been commercially sexually exploited (CSEC) through a comprehensive and holistic approach to Health, Education, Advocacy, and Reintegration. Tammy oversees the Annual Gala and Golf Tournament and as the Community Outreach Manager, she coordinates speaking engagements, awareness events, and fundraising events. In addition, she uses her powerful testimony to convey the reality and scope of Commercial Sexual Exploitation of Children in the Hawaii islands.